Bonus Scene – Challenged

Angie

I don’t do so bad on the first day. Rage and the desire to put as much distance between the base and the group as possible make the miles feel easy, even as we scramble over tree roots and continue walking far longer than I have ever done in my life before.

It helps to know that I’m going to spend the night with Rardek’s warm body curled around me, that in the dreamspace we’ll screw each other senseless. And when we do settle down for the night, Rardek makes sure I have a long drink of the healing berry water - disgusting, and not at all like coffee, the liar - to speed up my recovery.

The second day is a slog though. The rage has boiled down to a low simmer. Still there - it will be there for a long time before it burns out completely - but not potent enough to fuel my body. We’re far away enough from the base now that another day’s worth of distance doesn’t hold the same strength of compulsion over me. We’re just walking. Endlessly.

It’s slow, as well. That’s not anyone’s fault. Sally has to stop to feed Marsal regularly. Rachel’s like eight and a half months along, and though her raskarran carries her, she still has to stop to rest. Fortunately the feeding breaks are about long enough for her, so we don’t have to double up.

Then there’s the rest of the pod girls. Like me, they’re feeling the effects of the cryostasis. Achy muscles, reduced stamina. Some of them press onward without showing any signs of tiredness or struggle. Summer, the girl I helped Brooks wake up is one of these, as is silent Becky - though whether that’s out of determination or because she’s still almost catatonic, I’m not sure. Others don’t complain, but you can see the pain on their faces, tears of exhaustion streaming down their cheeks by the end of the day.

Others whinge, but fortunately, none of us have enough breath to keep that up for long.

Sam, bless her, is a saint, chatting cheerily with all the strugglers in turn - telling them how difficult she found it to walk to the village the first time, how she built up her walking legs over time, and now she can go for miles without difficulty. She doesn’t mention the fact that she was half starved immediately before walking to the village we are all about to call home. The cryostasis definitely impacts our fitness, but I don’t think it’s as much as not eating well for three straight days would have. In Sam’s shoes, I don’t think I would have had any patience for the moaners in the group.

But like I said, Sam is a saint.

When we finally stop for the night, I practically collapse to the floor. Rardek chuckles at me, even as he checks me over and makes gestures to ask if I’m okay. He needs to help his raskarran friends put the tents up, so I shoo him off after letting him know that I’m fine.

“It’s okay not to be fine, you know?” Deborah says, coming to sit next to me. She hands me one of the raskarran canteens, and though it still grosses me out a bit to think it was once an animal body part, I take a long drink from it. The water has the bitter tang of the berries in it, but I’m expecting it, so don’t immediately spit it out.

“Thanks,” I say, handing it back. “And I am fine. I hurt like hell, but I figure that’s normal for a girl who never walked more than a few blocks, who’s suddenly walking miles and miles.”

Deborah nods. “Yeah, you’ve got to build up your endurance. Pushing yourself to the limit isn’t the best way to do it, but we don’t have much choice here.”

“Need to be back at the village as soon as possible,” I say, glancing at Rachel, whose raskarran is stroking his big hand over her swollen belly.

“Not just for that. For us, as well. Well, not so much you and me. The others. They need stability. Security. It’s what’s going to make all this as easy as it can be.”

“You don’t need security and stability?” I arch a brow at her.

“Never had it in my life before, why need it now?” Then she smiles. “Besides, I’ve already got it.”

Her eyes cut to Maldek, who’s helping Rardek put up a tent.

“Not the place but the person?”

“Exactly.”

“Are we supposed to be hoping the others find their people, then? I feel a little conflicted about that.”

On the one hand, I can’t deny I’ve joined the ranks of the ridiculously happy. No complaints about the raskarran in my dreams. But the memory of how it felt to know that fate had handed me a life partner against my will is still potent. No amount of happiness now changes how disorienting and confusing and even frightening that was.

“That’s why we need to get them a place,” Deborah says with a shrug.

We eat together. No more frozen human food, but full raskarran fare. It’s not bad. Nutritious and filling, if a bit lacking in the flavour department.

“That is just travel food,” Rardek tells me in the dreamspace. “When we are back at the village, Hannah and Namson will make us a celebratory feast that will set your tongue dancing.”

“I think my tongue could be made to do a little dancing now, without the need for food,” I say, lacing my voice with heat.

Rardek grins, then leans in to claim my lips with his, his tongue probing at mine with a precision he has no right to have achieved so quickly. 

Not that I’m complaining.

I wondered, at first, if he would even want to speak to me after learning what humans did to his people. But he quickly disabused me of that notion, and the notion that I might need to treat him gently.

“Your fire is what drew me in, my Angie,” he said. “I would not have you hide it now out of some desire to protect my spirit. I need your flame to keep it strong. I need you.”

“Good. Because I’m conscious of how much I need you.”

He shot me a heated look.

“Not like that. Well, yes, like that, but also not like that. I need you to show me what it means to live here. How to do it well.”

He smiled, stroking his fingers down my cheek. “You do not need me for that as much as you might think.”

“The other thing, then. I need you. I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

“My Angie, you do not need to fear that I will. Right now I am exactly where I want to be.”

Those words ring round in my head now as he lowers me back into the furs, his body shifting over mine.

He’s exactly where he wants to be.

And, despite everything I thought I would mourn losing, I am, too.